...and some came from abroad! Well, Inverness anyway. Operation Minibus
was on yesterday, a folly consisting of trying to get 16 Cribs fans
from the North West to Coventry for a 'warm up' gig at a nightclub
called the Kasbah.
A
guy calling himself KnackeredConverseBen posted on the Cribs forum back
in March to say that there would be an 'intimate' gig at the nightclub
where he was the booker, and told us that we could have £200 towards a
minibus if we got one down. How I got involved I don't quite remember
but it could be something to do with the fact that I'm a busybody Queen
of Entropy. So, three months later, after cancellations, swapping about
and a last minute double booking by a complete fool from Advance Travel
Leeds, I was stood at Oxford Road station in Manchester waiting for two
people I'd never met before to get on this 16 seater to oblivion.
Luckily neither of them were murderers, one had come all the way from
Inverness on a coach to be here, and the other had come from
Sainsburys, rather less impressively.
Most people were getting
on at Leeds, a random assortment of forumers and their assorted
friends, all of them thoroughly nice people. 'The Cribs' went on the CD
player, and after a stop for birthday cake at the service station (more
of that later) we were outside the Kasbah looking like weirdos as we
had an impromptu buffet served from the minibus step.
Moving to
the more traditional picnicking arena of a grass verge we sat eating
sausage rolls, pringles and scotch eggs, being eyed cautiously by the
scenesters making their way into the venue. Kelly Cherrypicks was due
to turn 24 at midnight so we sang to her and after a few lethally
strong vodka and lemonades in plassy cups we went inside, amazingly
getting past 'security' with a pro digital SLR camera and a digital
voice recorder!
The Kasbah is pleasing to the eye but the queues
at the bar were ridiculous, the bar staff stretched to their limits and
the beer was so expensive that it formed the only topic of conversation
for the assembled crowds. There was a chorus of "How much?!" every time
someone got served which must have been fun for the barman. The venue
is absolutely rammed and we've already been split up into two splinter
groups so some of us start off upstairs where there's a bit more room
and you can actually still see the stage if you don't mind it being
slightly blurry through some tinted glass. After Kelly hassles some
bouncers they open up the balcony doors and we havethe best view in the
house from stage right.
Shrag are excellent, full of bounce and
madness and the front row are responding to it. Later me and Kelly saw
the girls in the toilet and let out a girly cry of 'Hi Shrag!' to which
they replied "Hi!" in unison and we all collapsed into giggles like a
missing scene from Sex and the City.
When The Cribs finally make
the stage Ryan whacks his head on the doorway before they launch into
Bovine. By now there are many more people on the balcony and we're
having to do a stupid balancing act with two half pints of lager
because the bar has run out of plastic pint glasses. I've never seen
the pit at a Cribs gig from above before but it looked like a swarm of
crazy, sweating bees and I was glad I wasn't down there getting bounced
around like Ms Pacman. As Danny Glover once said, I'm getting too old
for this shit.
The setlist is awesome, dropping in bsides and
storming through most of MNWNW and The New Fellas. I hear the familiar
chugging of one of my favourites, North of England, and Ryan announces
'This is for the cool people'. I translate this into 'This is for the
minibus people' and it sounds twice as good. Everything's going
brilliantly until Gary says "I can't do this anymore, I'm just being
honest. It's nothing to do with this band but just me personally. I
can't do this anymore.' Donna and I stare at each other with that 'Did
I just hear right?' look, and the crowd boos. As the guys start playing
again there's a real buzz of confusion which doesn't subside until Be
Safe calms everyone down with the dulcit tones of Mr Ranaldo and his
funny pipe. Be Safe is such a great song that it should inspire great
works of art, symphonies and architectural wonders but for lack of
brushes, instruments and blueprints everyone just points and jabs the
air.
As the boys wander off stage everyone is cheering extra
hard in the wake of Gary's comments (or Gary-gate as it came to be
known on the forum today), in case this is the last we see of them.
Then the DJ comes on and tells us all he'll be playing songs until we
all drop dead so we bag a nice booth on the balcony and submit to the
ultra-priced bar. We've been told there's an aftershow but it seems to
consist of what we in the real world would call a club night. Just
around the time this kicks off I go looking for Ben the promoter
because he owes me the £200 I have paid for the minibus. Strangely he's
nowhere to be found and no-one knows where he is. I wonder if he's some
kind of mythical figure and then I notice that one of Team Jarman is
outside, having been thrown out for being too young. Now, we were never
made aware of the fact that under 18s weren't allowed in the venue
after the gig, what are they supposed to do, round them up and do DNA
testing? Anyway I have an altercation with the bouncer, who I would
describe as a neanderthal except for the fact that neanderthals had the
brain power to use simple stone tools and this bloke would struggle
with a twig and some berries.
Eventually Ben appears and it's a
Wizard of Oz moment as I realise he's about 19 and incredibly affable.
We sort out our bit of business (Ben = ace bloke) and I am escorted off
the premises by another security guard, seemingly for the crime of
talking back to a knuckle dragging simpleton in a bomber jacket. After
a last minute sweep for stray Team Jarman members me and Melissa head
out looking for cheap booze houses who don't much care about ID. We
find a dodgy looking 'student wine bar' and settle in with two hammered
regulars, the rastafarian landlord and four Cribs fans from Manchester
who've been chucked out for smoking in the beer garden. The Kasbah's a
nice place but they need to sort out their security, it comes to
something when even the band on stage have to interrupt the gig to tell
them to leave their fans alone.
Back on the minibus we're
heading for home and Kelly's distributing birthday cake (actually it
was chocolate logs but that was all I could get from the service
station). After a while everyone's napping on each others shoulders
even though some of them have only met a few hours ago. We drop most of
the busers off at Leeds station and by 4.30 I'm back at my hotel and
Rob and Mikey are off to Oxford Rd and hopefully then Inverness.
Some of them came from the North of England and some came from abroad